SSB lore

Sometimes even the tiniest of your efforts yield you rich dividends. Well certainly I never believed in this notion, having spent four years in the CA profession where one has to really toil hard to make their presence felt!
I remember very vividly the night before my CDS exams. I was having dinner and suddenly I decided that I should go and appear for the CDS exams the next morning. My mother stamped the idea. So with no preparation whatsoever, I appeared for the exams and everything went by smoothly. But frankly I never expected a positive outcome and so with a calmness which one can always associate with me, I appeared in my CA final exams the very next month and was happy with my show. I thought that six months of hard work would finally pay up and dreamed about the days to come; life in the corporate; chalking out mergers & acquisitions; rising up the corporate ladder and one day leading one! Then suddenly came the call letter from the SSB and here was the 1st shocker! How did I clear it? But anyways I was free and could afford a ‘VISIT’ to Allahabad. It would be real fun. I left for Varanasi (my paternal home) and from there a 3 hour drive had me at the MCO at the Allahabad railway station. Seriously speaking, I was having goose-bumps. After half an hour’s wait, we were escorted to the SSB Centre by a military bus. If I remember right, ‘Mig29’ was the 1st boy I met there and was really impressed by him. Later on we got the same dormitory and became friends. It was his 2nd appearance at the SSB, so I always looked forward to him for tips and about what was next to come.
On the 28th of June, we had our screening tests. But the night before, I didn’t want to study. The next morning I gave the tests & to my surprise cleared it. It was for the first time at the SSB that I realized that I should be more serious. It would have been really shameful for me to have been screened out. But still I was unconcerned about getting or losing the job. I knew I was destined to be someone else, a CA!
They said that the real tests were about to begin and it won’t be fun either. On the next day we had a series of psychological & intelligence tests (all written) which were very tiring and least funny. To add to my misery, the food at the candidates mess was equivalent to fodder served with a pinch of ‘attitude’. But yes it had lasting fragrance. Anyways my next day at the SSB was quite eventful in the company of the lively Sikh GTO, ever ready to slang us. In fact I happened to be his favourite ‘MONKEY’. But it all fared well at the end and I was pretty certain about Mr. Nikhil’s selection [he really made it large :)]. At the final conference, my interviewing officer shot a tricky question at me – “What if you do not make it”. My reply was not a simple one either. It would have taken considerable courage to give such a blunt reply. But anyway I did say, what I said. I replied very positively with a smiling face “I won’t be coming back here again. It would be my 1st & last stint at the SSB”. When the final results were declared, there was euphoria all around. My good friend Ankit Doundiyal (popularly known as the ‘Cutie-pie’) was really on cloud nine. He was punching & fisting the air; jumping all around. I knew I was happy, but still it didn’t matter to me! That night was a night of introspection. I never came to the SSB with a dream to become an Army officer one day. I treated every test the way I liked, completely disregarding the general. I deliberately maintained a low profile in order not to mix up very much with my fellow candidates’ coz I knew it’ll be a very short gathering. Still, in spite of all the negatives I got recommended. It was really very confusing. Here again the logic of “working hard to achieve something glorious” faulted for me. It was turning out to be a real folklore, the SSB lore!
The next five days were a mix of fun & boredom. What was very evident was the addition of a “+” mark on our chests. It really felt great & I wondered, “How would the insignia feel like upon becoming a Lieutenant?” For the medical examination we had to visit the medical hospital nearby to ensure that all our ‘GEARS’ were working properly. But we had quite a hearty company at the MH. A bunch of lively lady candidates accompanied us, very efficiently lead by a haughty looking girl (who enjoyed poking everyone for fun!). My dear friend Nikhil tried all his charms & spells but couldn’t manage a ‘Dominos duel’. Eventually, our ‘FAT’ commander cried ‘Ab bass’ and we had our double bust pizza all alone in that dingy dormitory! I can’t say that it was all fun coz the next morning we all had a tough time attending to the call of the nature. I guess nobody relished the idea of a breakfast that morning for obvious reasons except for our ‘MIG29’. He is a real fighter you know…keeps on trying until his GEARS explode. But finally the medicals were over and my low profile drama came to an end. According to the doctors, I had a vulgar elbow and an erotic eye! Deeply hurt by such unparliamentry comments, I decided to go for an appeal. But yes the SSB dream run was finally over and I reached home. In a few days’ time, my CA results were about to be declared and I knew what was in store for me. But the results were a complete shocker. I could clear only one of the two groups and was yelling jinxes and curses at the cruel ‘ICAI’. But I knew it was of no use. Someone asked me “How do you feel”. It was a pathetic feeling really; unlike anything I ever felt before. It was like the girl whom I adored day & night for over four years; dreamt of living together forever, ditched me on my wedding night! Yes that’s how I felt about my results 
But soon I realized the greater truth, the alchemy. The entire universe was driving me towards something for which I made the minimum effort. Every passing day brings in a completely new reality for us. And the truth is that my reality is no more a hazy dream. It’s crystal clear now and just a few months away!